Monthly Archives: May 2013

Hidden truth about motherhood # 2 The first advice

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danger thin ice

     Fear thy name is mother. Motherhood begins with incredible news and devastating warnings. The first advice may come from this first fear, loss. Many women know too well the fear and the reality of loss. Their tender hearts encourage the first time mothers even though they need encouraging as well. However, the first motherhood advice can overshadow the wonderful news to delay for the ‘just in case’ situation.

      “Sandy, the first 12 weeks are critical, make sure you take care of yourself and get informed.” The doctor places his hand on her shoulder and shakes her husband’s hand.
      “And congratulations.” He walks away.
      “We gotta get books, magazines and subscribe to all the things they have listed on the resource list.” The mother to be jumps from the examining table.
      “Alright, we got time.” Her husbands stands up from his comfy chair.
 As they walk out, they see an acquaintance.
      “I didn’t know this was your doctor too.” She says while filling out forms.
      “Mrs. Gaines here is information about the first trimester and our contact list.” The secretary speaks to the mother to be.
      “You’re pregnant, congratulations, but I’m sure you don’t want anyone to know yet right? You probably just found out and you never know…”
      “Why not?”
      “Miscarriage sweetie, its like every 4 out of 5 women miscarry on their first.”
 Sandy looks about the room. There are three pregnant women in their last trimester waiting plus the old acquaintance. She would be the fifth or fourth.
      “So who should we tell first?” He holds his phone as he takes a picture of the positive pregnancy test.
      “No one, I guess.” She sits in their sofa and drops to the side to rest only half of her body.
      “It’s our news, don’t let the hag scare you.” He watches space out. “Even if, we shouldn’t be afraid and hope for the best.”   He holds her again for another crying session.

 Author’s note: When blessings come, a voice of ‘well meaning’ warnings may crush the joy of them. Believe the blessing, enjoy the joy and don’t allow fear to overshadow the good things.

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The spider’s monkey

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     There are situations that can paralyze a human being. Bad news, unexpected events and surprise visits result in different reactions. Some freeze, others collapse in grief, some dance or scream, but there is no other moment that can make a woman more hysterical than the sighting of a spider. From the first encounter, she can feel its hairy legs crawling on her arms, legs, hair, neck and worst inside her dress. The spider doesn’t need to move to make the woman undress in public, to jump and twirl, shaking her entire being to scare off the tiniest of spiders. It then becomes the dream of every man to have spider senses.

Author’s note: Summer can bring out the lightest of hearts and the craziest of fears in bugs. There is a bug out there waiting for you ;-). Have a crazy reaction you’d like to share? Please reply below. Enjoy the day, next week another hidden truth of motherhood.

Hidden truths about motherhood #1

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pregnancy test

TTC=Trying to conceive

(Half the battle of motherhood begins in understanding what every other mom already seems to know, the acronyms).
The trying fun begins, where some don’t even have to try. Time passes and the fervent expectancy turns to worry. Glowing sticks for measurement and accuracy reign in the closet. When temperature is best and the color shows just right, what was fun can become a task. A list of recommendations and traditions,  all to expect that glorious moment when you flop head to head over a toilet. For some a journey of self discovery begins as they find themselves insufficient in their efforts. No amount of hugs can comfort those that cannot, but the love of those around can shine a different perspective and new hope.  Others discover that in time their desire  is in fact shocking and scary.

“Once you’re there you can never take it back.” The TCO woman remembers what a coworker said earlier that day.

At home she tests once more. Their third attempt in a few months and its positive.

“Is that right?” She asks her husband.

“Yep.” He walks away and sits on the couch.

She holds the positive test in her hands shaking and sobs.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I’m going to be a mother.” She sits down on the floor crying.

“Yes, that’s what we wanted. Isn’t that good?”

“But I don’t know if I’m ready.” She bawls.

He walks toward her, laughs and holds her.

Author’s note: It’s funny when you find yourself where you want to be but have no clue how to live after that. Anyone know what that’s like?

Clouds are sensitive creatures

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dark cloud

She thunders to announce her entrance. Darkness surrounds her day. She begins with intensity to bring forth the message with accuracy. She emphasizes every word adding inflections where none are necessary. She puffs herself to higher heights reaching the ceiling and rain begins to fall. On the verge of tears she apologizes to suggest that she is sensitive to intentions but strong to correcting. Her thoughts she expresses without hesitation and makes known her frustration. Great hail falls on the heads of those who did not mean to offend her but peace offerings are too late. She is explosive and vindictive. Lightning is only one of her anger responses. Her past brought aggravation, disappointment and constant failures. Labels on her define her and she fights them but feeds from them. Time can only heal her wounds if she allows it. All her trials can strengthen her if she admits to weakness, seeks help and looks at her own silver lining. On a daily basis all who surround her keep their steps light and speak soft words in hopes to reach her heart, to turn this sensitive reactive cloud to an inspiring approachable fluffy one.

Author’s Note: I was once this cloud, overly sensitive, missing out on good enjoyable moments because I was hurt with every word. How do you encourage a cloud without responding to their lightning and thunder?