TTC=Trying to conceive
(Half the battle of motherhood begins in understanding what every other mom already seems to know, the acronyms).
The trying fun begins, where some don’t even have to try. Time passes and the fervent expectancy turns to worry. Glowing sticks for measurement and accuracy reign in the closet. When temperature is best and the color shows just right, what was fun can become a task. A list of recommendations and traditions, all to expect that glorious moment when you flop head to head over a toilet. For some a journey of self discovery begins as they find themselves insufficient in their efforts. No amount of hugs can comfort those that cannot, but the love of those around can shine a different perspective and new hope. Others discover that in time their desire is in fact shocking and scary.
“Once you’re there you can never take it back.” The TCO woman remembers what a coworker said earlier that day.
At home she tests once more. Their third attempt in a few months and its positive.
“Is that right?” She asks her husband.
“Yep.” He walks away and sits on the couch.
She holds the positive test in her hands shaking and sobs.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I’m going to be a mother.” She sits down on the floor crying.
“Yes, that’s what we wanted. Isn’t that good?”
“But I don’t know if I’m ready.” She bawls.
He walks toward her, laughs and holds her.
Author’s note: It’s funny when you find yourself where you want to be but have no clue how to live after that. Anyone know what that’s like?