Monthly Archives: September 2013

Hidden Truths about Motherhood #7 The Monster in my bed

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A low growl emerges from either side of me. It seems to rumble in the same way hunger threatens me. The growl slopes down to a still whistle, which turns into a simple sigh. Though it disrupts the depths of my dreams, it doesn’t bother my sleep. I can keep calm and float back into that wonderful rest I need. I’m dreaming again of the things I forgot to do when the mood changes within the dream. The common things I dream of end and I’m aware of wild animals surrounding me. They draw closer to show their anger towards me. They first let the heat of their breath fill my lungs and they growl by my ears. I close my eyes waiting for a death I cannot escape. A single bite to my neck and I have nothing else to share of my tale. Then the growls subside and silence wakens me. I open my eyes to look around. Another nightmare finishes and the reasons for them I do not know, except to remind me of the stress of these last days. I curl to my side and drop the weight of my exhaustion unto my dearest body pillow. My back aches and I roll again to my back staring at the ceiling. I readjust the pillow, the blankets and close my eyes. From my feet all the way up to my chest, I hear again the rumble. This time it rises to new volumes, shifting its growl to croaks, hisses and gargles. It occurs to me that as I hear these disturbing sounds in the back of my mind, perhaps the instigator lies next to me. I think of the ways that I use to wake him and help him with his snoring, when I feel a tug at my left arm. I ignore it for my thoughts consume me and are of greater importance. I must figure out how to sleep and kill the beast that awakens me. The gentle tug becomes a push. I feel my entire body slipping sideways and when I become the woman overboard I wake up to scream.

“Sorry baby, you were snoring, so I had to turn you.” A grumble from the other side of the bed.

He turned me to my side.

I guess the monster is closer than I think.

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Walking blind

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Where is your destination?

 

A man signs up for a challenge. The challenge consists of walking blind folded in three different situations. The first is at a familiar place, the second at an unfamiliar place and the third with an unknown goal. The man accepts each task as they seem doable. At the familiar place, his home, though blinded he could remember and picture in his mind every object. He could visualize what the room looks like and he shows great ability moving around the obstacles. He enjoys accomplishing that task knowing that if he did lose sight he could still remember.

 

The next task he sees as a true challenge. In the unfamiliar place, he feels intimidation. He steps forward and discovers his surroundings. He could with touch, smell and at times taste describe where he is and what he encounters.  He feels empowered with each task. On the last task they leave him at a walking trail without a goal or destination. For this task however, they do not cover his eyes. He doesn’t see the reason for this last task, yet continues.

When the man begins his walk he takes a brisk walk to finish the silly challenge. A few hours pass and though he’s fine in health and could walk longer, he stops. He complaints about the pain in his legs, the aches in his body and wonders when the task ends. He rests for a while and walks again for a short time. He then decides to jog for a while and see if he can arrive at his destination sooner. After another hour, he stops. He rethinks the original request realizing he doesn’t know if he’s suppose to find the end of the path, finish it or something else. He walks again and screams to see if anyone would respond, no one does. He continues while his frustration grows and with every step he feels more insecure in his purpose. He feels defeated as he talks to himself about the hours and days lost pursuing these tasks. After a few hours they come for him and take him home. Glad to finish the challenge yet upset that he most likely lost it, he asks about the goal of the last task. They respond, the goal is to walk.

 

 

 

Author’s note: There is nothing that drives a person madder than to not know where they are heading, even if they can see and all they know is they cannot do anything at all but wait. The waiting eventually ends, even if not in the outcome we expect.